exactly where we had been

-
The knots were tied and strings still rust,
we both knew our time was passing dust.
Maybe it's the pressure of not seeing you,
or the inclination to run away with you.

Eighteen and school was closing at our start,
we held on to each other until the ceiling was tilted right,
but we never thought about the fact that we'd have to part
in a couple of months or a few moments in white light.

The untamed agony of the lost and found
can all just be in my head, but I've drowned.
Too much into this feeling I once thought was cute,
too much in the thought of us and the rest is mute.

When you know it'll end and it'll be gone to dirt,
when you both agreed to ignore the alert,
we knew something extraordinary was up,
we knew something weirdly unsettling was stirred up.

It's the most painful thing to know you have to let go,
and now every time I hold you, I'm scared it's the last time.
I can't feel my arms anymore, but I don't want to let go,
like I'm trying to hold water slipping out of my hand in no time.

You're so oblivious, without a clue how hard it is,
to sit and listen to you talk about your wedding day,
when all it does is remind me of a swing and a miss,
and to have to sit and scream through the pain each day.

But I'll live with the fact that it'll never proceed more than a fall,
as you walk me into the church you'll someday get married in,
and I'll have to live with the fact that we were never meant to have it all,
and that you'll move on but I'll be left exactly where we had been.

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